So the day began with attempting to download my long awaited copy of Nathan Dylan Goodwin’s latest Morton book to my Kindle (other ereaders are available). Not totally straightforward as I deliberately purchased it in a new way, thus avoiding too many profits going to large online retailers and also meaning that got it earlier. This seemed to involve teaching my Kindle a new email address. Took a bit of Googling to work out how to do that but we got there.

Then it was on with the big girls pants and the ‘joy’ of installing a new router. This has all come about because my broadband contract was up for renewal. I stuck with the same company when I moved thinking that it had been fine in the middle of nowhere in a house with two foot think walls, so surely it would work well in a modern bungalow, in a much larger settlement. Not so. It dips alarmingly and with no warning, meaning that I have had to do some presentations from my bed. Open Reach, in their wisdom, installed the router connection thingy on the corner nearest the road, which means that the router is in my bedroom. Firstly, this means, I have a permanent bright green light in my bedroom, which for me isn’t the problem it might be for some, as I inevitably fall asleep when reading, so the light is on anyway. It is however as far away as possible from where I’d normally be using wifi. I should note that ‘as far away as possible’ isn’t actually very far, as it is a tiny bungalow and certainly I could get wifi in any room in my old house and in the garden without issue.

I debated changing companies but that would probably be a frying-pan – fire scenario and as renewal coincided with Black Friday (which weirdly seems to last several weeks), my existing company offered me a 900mbps package for the price of my old 57mbps. I don’t really understand all this mbps stuff but that certainly seemed like an improvement but it meant a new router. Said router arrived. The email said ‘install an app’. I am reasonably adept on a laptop, a phone, not so much – too small, too fiddly etc. etc.. Said app however duly installed. ‘Scan the QR code on the box to get the installation instructions’. Nope that just wasn’t going to happen. All I got was offers of expensive QR code reading apps. I’d been assured that it was going to be a case of unplug the old router, plug in the new one, so I ventured forth instructionless. I opened the box to find printed instructions. I didn’t need the app anyway.

Plugging in involved lying on the floor and delving in a rather dusty corner but that was accomplished. Next put in the new password. In days gone by this used to be three words that you stood a chance of remembering – in fact, I can still remember the last two three word passwords I had. This jumble of upper and lower case and digits is a bit of a nightmare but also accomplished. One laptop and one phone connected. The whole process had taken about fifteen minutes. Feeling quite smug, I moved on to reattaching the printer, or in my case, not reattaching the printer. I tried going via settings, I tried via the printer app. It kept telling me the printer wasn’t turned on when clearly it was. Every time I tried, the ‘not on’ printer wasted another tree by spitting out a one time passcode. I then made the big mistake of uninstalling the printer. That, dear readers, was a mistake. I have tried everything, Youtube videos, the printer company’s useless bot, turning everything off and on again, the lot. The printer is out of guarantee so I can pay £9.99  to speak to an ‘expert’, nope not going there. Nest step, maybe I should connect the printer with a wired connection. Cue emptying out a very large drawer of ‘may come in useful’ wires. Not one will fit up the backside of my printer. I thought these things were pretty standard but it seems not. I have, for now, given up. I have to return the old router, ‘print out this label’. Errrrrr. And as I write this I realise that I now have two televisions to reconnect. I think a nice calming image is in order.